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Colourful Quotes from the AKAI list III

Compiled by: Troy Woodfield


Adam Asks:
"Err... Is it just me, or are we recieving messages 
from the list that we already recieved about a month 
ago?!?!"

Antye Greie sounds the alert:
"lets get out of here...failure in the matrix !"

From: Pierre-Yves
"Houston I think we got a problem  ;-)"

Someone writes to the list: 
"Guten Tag. Vielen Dank für Ihr e-Mail.
Wir haben vom 17. Juli 1999 bis am 25. Juli 1999 
Betriebsferien. Danach sind wir wieder gerne für Sie da"

 Gavin Minor responds: 
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 Gavin Minor, on a different day...
" Shut the fuck up Sunshine. and while u're at it, stop 
quoting 10 emails for a message that contains 2 words... 
better still,  stop writing pointless emails."

Salzie is not impressed with the new MPC2000XL:
"and how much comes standard?  2 megs?  the sons of bitches!!!!! 
there's an italian term: "senza sputazzo", which translated 
roughly means "No Vaseline".  That's what comes to mind."

Salvatore Sferrazza agrees:
"...this whole fucking mpc2000xl thing has got my panties 
in a bunch.

what is this thing?  I mean seriously.  ALL YOU HAD TO DO 
WAS UPGRADE THE OS, FOLKS!  They hooked up the OS a little, 
threw a condom on the data wheel, and tilted the display.  
this thing looks even more like a cash register than it did 
before.  what a greedy ass ploy."

Sanjay is impressed with his mpc30000
"I haven't had any problems with the mpc3000.I love it a lot.
I treat it like my second wife."

What would Jon Katz do for a Minimoog?
"Sell your mother, wife, girlfriend, children... 
kill your granny and cash in on the insurance... 
blow your credit card... amass a huge overdraft...
Whatever....BUY A MINIMOOG!"

Bluegrass Biggs proves his own point...
"Hello, Very good Point.  I'm and idiot "

Speaking of idiots...who writes this to an AKAI list!
"everybody wakeup man.Stop using these lousy fucking 
akai samplers and try finding out the real power and 
fexibility of the emu range of samplers. Boycott all 
akai samplers from the studios."

Jon Katz on AKAI hardware testing...
"Some years ago, I happened to get talking with 
Simply Red's keyboard tech (yo - name dropping!).
Apparently, when packing up after a gig in Brazil, 
the drummers rack went down a lift shaft accidentally 
(the lift wasn't there when they slid the rack in???!!!) 
and the only gear that survived were the Akais (3000s ISTR)."

John Gilmore knows what he wants in a drum machine: 
"I just want to find something that can make some funky ass 
fart noises on demand...with knobs..."

John Gilmore on advertising...
"I can't believe Akai has the gall to market their newest product by saying,
"Computer / sampler combos never work the way they're advertised"... no
kidding you fuck...you MADE THEM THIS WAY!!!  Arrrrrggggghhhhhh!  Now i want
to kill something"

SFLA has the last word, on: HTML headers: 
"BULLSHIT! EVERYONE Turn it OFF... NOW!!!"

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